I was to go to my brother's today for Thanksgiving, but my poor brother is sick (he works too much until he can't do anymore and gets run down ) that we decided I would just stay home for Thanksgiving. I told him I would be OK. Well, I'm not. Right now I am so tired, and scared and alone. It has not been a good day. I knew it would be rought, Even being with my brother and his family. But, this has been a day from hell for me. I did cook a turkey, but not much enjoyment with no one to share it with. (My cat is in heaven though!). I have not uttered more than a few words with only the little kitty to talk to. I think that might be the hardest thing to live with....I know I have a hard time with it when it is a normal week-end....but four whole days...and no one to talk with.....I'm not sure I will survive.
Through out the deaths of my mother, father, and husband, everyone has told me that I must be strong, you must be strong......well right now I am not strong.....I am sad, I am lonely, I am frightened......and I can't wait for this day to end, or the next day to end, or the next day and so on..............
If this computer screen were paper it would be tear stained..........
the secret.....my biggest fear.....being entirely alone..........has come true..............and I am not strong.
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