Discoveries

Discoveries are made everyday.  Discoveries are made every second of a day. Scientists make new discoveries.  Archeologist find old discoveries.  Babies discover a multitude of things in just 5 minutes.  Each of us discover something new or something old everyday. 

Some of the discoveries we make each day are about ourselves.  Some we are overjoyed at and some we would like to push back into the bottom of the basket.  But still we discover and we learn and we move on to the next discovery or experience.

These past few months I have made some discoveries.  Some are new and some are old.  Some I am overjoyed at and some I want to push back deep into that basket.  But for all the good and bad they are here to stay with me through the long haul.  Let me share with you some of what I have discovered.

This one I have known quite a while but have not let it be known or talked to others about it who are not of the same belief.  I am a Pagan.  I practice a Pagan/Goddess Path.  Which means I look at the divine as feminine.  A Mother Goddess.  I observe Pagan Holidays:  Samhain, Yule, Imbolc, Ostara, Beltane, Litha, Lughnasadh, Mabon.  I follow the cycles of the moon.  I work with herbs.  And generally try to follow the Old Ways handed down by my grandmother. A few friends who are not Pagan have suspected but have not said anything.  But now it is on the table.  I do not and will not discuss anything on this blog about my Pagan path.  I have another blog just for that.

"I might not be the most beautiful, or the sexiest, nor do I have the perfect body. I might not be first choice, but I'm a great choice. I don't pretend to be someone I'm not because I'm too good at being me. I might not be proud of some of the things i've done in the past but I am proud of who I am today! Take me as I am...or watch me as I walk away."

The above quote came to me via a friend and has stuck with me for awhile.  I like who I am.  I know who I am. I know what I've been through.  I know where I want to go.  There isn't one of these laugh lines that I would erase.  I've earned everyone of them.  I lived a millin miles of memories and I won't trade them for anything or anybody because I don't fall within there concept of beauty. 

If you dismiss me out of hand because I do not or did not meet some sort of "standard" or because you don't care for my beliefs or you could not look any deeper than the outside and not really see what's on the inside, then I feel sorry for you.  Because you have not done any growing up.  You are the one with the problem not I.  You are the one who needs to make some discoveries of your own to find out who you really are.

I treat people the way I would like to be treated.  With respect, kindness, and love.  I will always extend a hand of friendship to anyone.  If you cannot do the same for me then it is your loss not mine.

It used to bother me that people could do that to me.  And I would then be the one to say 'Oh I am so sorry that I didn't measure up to your standards.  You hurt my feelings, but it was my fault.  Not yours.  I am so sorry"  I would be the one apologizing for the other person's treatment of me.  I can no longer do that.  I will no longer do that.

The above "discovery" was a rant! But a discovery none the less.

One last discovery, but on a much brighter note.  I have, for so long, put my art my writing, and my dance on the back burner.  Never really indulging as much as I wanted to.  But these days I feel so much freer to express myself through these.  These two discoveries have changed my life.  Made me feel confident again.  I can express who I am, what I am feeling, where I have been, where I want to go through these three forms of self-expression.   The art is Digital Collage and painting, the writing, of course are my blogs, poetry, short stories, and my dance, my dance is bellydance (a stunning way of self-expression).

These are just a few of the many discoveries I have made.  What are some of yours?

But You Got To Have Friends......(My Gray Mfg Friends)

Oh, you got to have friends,

the feeling's oh so strong.

You got to have friends

to make that day last long.

 

Oh and do I have some friends!  The best people in the world!  My lovely friends at my work gave me a beautiful bracelet the other day.  It was one I had been looking at for a awhile and really wanted.  But at the time that I would have gotten it, my father passed away and I was dealing with that emotional  watershed.  Plus I was trying to get my "new" used car.  And someone I care deeply about was half a world away and I was missing him and trying to keep him in my thoughts for a safe journey and safe return. 

 

Let's just say that week was difficult, packed with so many emotions going through me,  sadness at my loss, frustrated with trying to get a car and really finding out how much you can miss someone (though the good part about that week is that we did have some "conversations", albeit short, between us.

 

But back to the bracelt and the friends...these wonderful girls that I work with knew how hard that week was on me and that I really wanted that bracelet.  They got together and bought that bracelet for me.  Tears come to my eyes even as I write this.....this gesture of friendship has moved me in ways that I can not explain to them.  I love these girls, they have been through a lot with me, they know my secrets, my desires, my hopes.  They know me.  I do not know what I would do with out them.

 

So here, into the Universe I send my deepest love and respect and hearfelt thanks to you ....

Lori, Christina, Marily, and Raenae......I do not think I would have made it through some of the tough time without you.....I am so thankful to God for bringing you guys into my life.

 

 

Today I...

... could use a few more hours of sleep

... realised just how bad I am at time management

... can't seem to concentrate on anything for too long

... want the pair of Chanel shoes in above picture

... feel rather optimistic about everything

... think I should make a roast chicken for dinner

... don't really feel like doing a proper blog post.

... should be having a massage (my back is sore)

... had a yummy stuffed pepper for dinner last night

... feel like I could do alot more than I'm doing

... am wearing alot of grey

... must ignore the cranky voices in my head

... wish I was on holiday somewhere pretty

Northern Lights

For folks along the northern rim of the US, a second chance to see the northern lights will come when another solar outburst hits Earth Wednesday or Thursday.

Auroras, also known as northern and southern (polar) lights or aurorae (singular: aurora), are natural light displays in the sky, usually observed at night, particularly in the polar regions. They typically occur in the ionosphere. They are also referred to as polar auroras. This is a misnomer however, because they are commonly visible between 65 to 72 degrees north and south latitudes, which would place it in a ring just within the Arctic and Antarctic circles. Aurorae do occur deeper inside the polar regions, but these are infrequent occurrences, and these are often invisible to the naked eye.

In northern latitudes, the effect is known as the aurora borealis, named after the Roman goddess of dawn, Aurora, and the Greek name for the north wind, Boreas, by Pierre Gassendi in 1621 The aurora borealis is also called the northern polar lights, as it is only visible in the sky from the Northern Hemisphere, with the chance of visibility increasing with proximity to the North Magnetic Pole. (Earth's is currently in the arctic islands of northern Canada.) Auroras seen near the magnetic pole may be high overhead, but from further away, they illuminate the northern horizon as a greenish glow or sometimes a faint red, as if the Sun were rising from an unusual direction. The aurora borealis most often occurs near the equinoxes. The northern lights have had a number of names throughout history. The Cree call this phenomenon the "Dance of the Spirits." In the Middle Ages the auroras have been called a sign from God (see Wilfried Schröder, Das Phänomen des Polarlichts, Darmstadt 1984).

Its southern counterpart, the aurora australis or the southern polar lights, has similar properties, but is only visible from high southern latitudes in Antarctica, South America, or Australasia. Australis is the Latin word for "of the South."

Auroras can be spotted throughout the world and on other planets. It is most visible closer to the poles due to the longer periods of darkness and the magnetic field.

My Companion

My companion is a crazed psycho.  Let me rephrase that statement.  My furball companion, Pumpkin, is a crazed psycho.  And I knew it when I let him into my home.  And I'm paying for it just about everyday.


 I found Pumpkin, not in a store, or shelter, but surviving on the streets.  He showed up on my front porch one day all cute, dirty and hungry.  And he knew how to work it.  I fed him, I gave him love, I gave him toys, but I made him stay outside.  I wasn't going to let him in my home.  No.  No way. Until....he left me a present one morning. 


I opened my door and there it was....his kill from the night before.  He left me....a dead rodent.  He sat there, looking at me, so proud of what he's done.  Hoping that I would be proud of him too.  In a way, I was.  That just meant one more of "those" that couldn't find their way into my house now.  But I did not want this to become a habit.  I did not want to find this, this display, everymorning I opened my door to go to work.


So I cleaned up the mess, all the while scolding him up and down, telling him he was a bad kitty for leaving this for me.  He just looked at me, clueless, and a little sad, that I wasn't as happy as he thought I should be.  Those big green eyes, that sad, cute little face.  Yes, he knows how to work me. Well, right then and there he became an indoor kitty.


I took this creature into my home and he has rewarded me many times over for this act of kindness I provided him.  Here are but a few of his rewards:

A few torn curtains, one set of mini blinds (beyond repair), a few broken trinkets, white fur everywhere, warms snuggles on a cold night, purrs of contentment and bliss that seem to go on forever, greeting me  at the door when I come home from work, blissfully being a lap kitty while I read, having the "cat knowledge" of knowing when I am sad and need to be cheered up or knowing when I need a good laugh.

It is nice to have this little guy with me.  Just knowing he's here with me makes me feel I am not so quite alone here in this apartment.  There is another living creature here with me.  And that is comforting.

Brazen

You are so close I can also must touch you.  I hear your words to me and yet I cannot respond to you the way I want to or need to......seems so unfair.  But I have kept you with me these many days, many years, that if you do not care to let me in, it will be alright.....for I will keep you with me forever, until the end of time. 

I have learned many things in my life, one being that you must not let your life pass you by...reach out for the things you desire most...for you may not get a second chance....yes my friend I have become "brazen"  in reaching our for what I desire.....there are many things that I desire.....but right now,  my desire is to be able to hear your words, your thoughts, your desires....................and so I wait..............and I will gladly wait till the end of time...........................to know you

Somethings I Learned This Week-End.........

1. Meeting other chick bloggers can be alot of fun


2. Man vs Wild is such an interesting TV series

3. It is always such a great feeling to find a book that you struggle to put down :)

4. Truth coffee is very tasty and smells wonderful

5. If you go to bed after 4am, you are not going to do anything productive the next day (and its best not to even try)

6. I still need to master the art of fast walking in super high heels

7. Chocolate flavoured macaroons are ridiculously yummy

8. Wearing a pretty dress makes me feel alot more confident

9. There is so much truth in this quote by Lauryn Hill - "We can’t plan life. All we can do is be available for it."