Today I Am Human

Today I Am Human

today I am human

I know this too well...

dark emotions within me

no longer they dwell

for sadness and loneliness

this day they have crept..

they've seized my whole being

and left me inept

these days past I've laughed

put thoughts forth quite merry...

yet today laughter is gone

all that's left is contrary

and the hopes, dreams, and wonder

which my heart has fully nourished...

lie in tattered shades of doubt

heart once hopeful...now discouraged

but that is today..this moment..right now

these sad feelings will soon disappear...

tomorrow the sun will shine once again

but today I am human, my dear.

Thank You

I would like to send special thank you to my dear friends who have just kept the normal everyday conversations going. The silly talk, the chit-chat, the what are you doing conversations we have everyday.  These too, have been a source of comfort to me.  Life goes on.  We mourn, we miss, we remember.  For without these conversations I would feel lost.  Thank you.

Mourning

Today, we are in mourning.  My mother passed away Saturday afternoon.  Even though we new it was inevitable, she has been ill for some time, this happened very fast.  She started to decline very rapidly at the beginning of the week, and Saturday her struggle with COPD came to an end.  She is no longer suffering.  She is in a better place.  Now my father, brother and I must grieve and put our lives back together. It will take some time, but with the support of family and friends we will get through this. 

Because I could not stop for Death,

He kindly stopped for me.

The Carriage held but just ourselves

And Immortality

~Emily Dickinson

Random Me

some random things about myself

Its never too late to change direction or your attitude


Last night...I made awesome lamb chops, baked potato and salad.

Sometimes I wish...on the first star I see at night

Do you blush easily? yup, I have been known to do that

Sometimes I really enjoy having a good ramble (By "ramble" I mean talking wildly and happily about a bunch of totally random things without even pausing to take a breather).

I'm not a "comfort eater" - when Im a bit down or stressed I tend to lose my appetite and eat almost nothing.

Sipping champagne on a weekday afternoon is blissful

Sometimes a long car ride alone with a favourite CD is all you need to get back on track

If you don't try to run after your dreams , you will never know if you can catch them

Getting roses will always make me feel giddy

Currently I want... more music in my life, discipline to write/study more, pretty dresses

Sometimes I think that getting take out and eating it outside (aka "fast food picnic")is as nice as going to a pretty restaurant - don't you agree?

I have a rather twisted sense of humour at times - I definitely got it from my mother.

Am I happy? Yes. Sure, my life is not perfect yet, I could have a better job, I'm a work in progress....But I still have so many things to be deliriously happy about. It feels good.

At the moment I am buying far more books than I am reading. My book list of "want to read" has gotten ridiculously long. Here are a few books I am really looking forward to reading
* The Story Sisters - by Alice Hoffman
* The Lace Reader - by Brunonia Barry
* The lost book of Salem (also called "the physick book of Deliverence Dan" in USA)- by Katherine Howe
* The Girl who chased the Moon - by Sarah Addison Allen (due out in March 2010)

Currently I want... a new hair colour, The "500 days of summer" soundtrack, a bigger bookshelf, a Polaroid camera, a pretty dress, a french manicure and a puppy

chocolate croissant or blueberry muffin? definitely a chocolate croissant

Sometimes its totally ok not to have all the answers and to ask all the "wrong" questions :)

Mother Nature weaves her spell....

At twilight now, I can smell the scent of woodsmoke in the air and when darkness falls, the sky is indigo and the moon so bright I have felt that I wanted to go outside and capture extra hours in the day. Everywhere you look there seems to be hints of magic....Mother nature weaves her spells with a wave of her wand.




Mornings have been misty, days quiet. Things are winding down in preparation for colder days. There has been fruit collecting and conker stringing. The cupboard is now home to sloe gin. There are blackberries in the freezer, plum wine fermenting in the kitchen, apples, still to be dealt with.



Even if we don't think its cold yet. Nature knows when its time to come in and hibernate.

perfect "entertainment"

This is my idea of the perfect "entertainment" -- sitting in front of the fire on a chilly evening with the one I love next to me, each of us so engrossed in the other, that the world outside just slips away and time is of no importance.

Just Because......

it's Sunday and they are totally fabulous,